Hope is a four lettered word

2013 is over. I can't say I'm unhappy to see it go, it was a tough year for a lot of reasons, but it also

showed that we've come a long way.

The holiday time for me has always been about downtime, the horses aren't pushed, I can pretty much have a glass of wine and take time to say thanks and plan the new year.

There's a lot to be thankful for- I'm thankful for supportive owners and clients who've been very supportive and supplying the equine talent and funding to start achieving goals. I'm thankful for my team: Dr. Laurie Metcalf, Jake Burdine, Dr. Lark Carol, Dr. Kimberly Tummlin, Doug Leavitt and a host of others who keep us all running on track.

I'm incredibly thankful to my owners who have stepped up to the status change to keep me mounted on quality up and coming horses: Noble Spirit Farm, Sunshine Meadows, Rosanna and Carey Gage; Wendy and Kelly Spencer and a few more who are coming up . Without them I think honestly I would still be bopping around not really doing much. They make me better, not just as a person, but as a horseman.

A big thank you goes to Alfredo, JJ and a number of others, who got me out of a slump. I really look forward to continuing the relationship and growing the team with some really passionate individuals who are in my corner and want to be apart of everything.

My goals on paper for 2013 weren't overly ambitious, but they involved hard work. I took the year to be a building year, I did a grand total of two shows this year, both I wish I would have forgotten, but for the most part they were apart of the learning curve that is being an under-30 rider.

2013:
1. Finish Silver, start the Gold.
I completed my Silver, in 2012 I had a mis-scored test that I didn't catch until after I left the show grounds. There wasn't a way to correct it so, I had to wait until 2013 to finish out my one fourth level test (seriously fourth level) and get my medal in January. I didn't start my Gold at all, I took a year off with Sinari to let her down after three hard years of campaigning and training. We went out all of twice (January and September) with so-so results. I look forward to getting back on the campaign trail again.

We will go out with some more frequency in 2014- but will be picky about shows for her. We are on our last two years of showing, and at 15, it's hard find an excuse to keep her campaigning continuously without being unfair. The focus also shifted to the younger horses, developing them to find the next heir apparent. Which is hard, because a horse that steps into those shoes is going to have a lot of expectations.

2. Be training I2/GP
We can roll through about 65-70 percent of the sequences of the GP at this point. It's no where near show ready. Still need to put on one's, a firmer p&p sequence, and clean up a bunch of other things.

3. Find investment horses.
Did this and a little more. Initially, Reba's Song was an investment back up horse. However, she showed her preference to jump and with Anna Kate did exceptionally well for her first year showing (I think winning a major national title is cause for celebration). The Spencers purchased Danzador MSM and put me onboard as rider/partner. Flemmiro SSM is also her breeder's investment for the long haul as well. There are also a few more coming in as client sales horses and potentially a few big horses as well.

4. Devote two weeks of intense training per quarter
With the notable absence of an integral team member by May, I had to scramble hard to find a solid pair of eyes on the ground that took us at least somewhat seriously. We were left floating really until July, until things changed and I found people who not only clicked with me but really made a huge change in what I do. I've now added one more set of eyes and started utilizing technology to keep up with things.

5. Continue to grow the business and remain fiscally solvent.
The business grew and had some ups and downs. There was a lot of change in dynamics and how things developed. I'm now the tour manager for Christoph, I'm developing clinic locations and the clientele has expanded. I got to work with William Fox Pitt and I look forward to expanding my network with eventers and getting to know them a bit better.

2014:
1. Start Gold. Be schooling the majority of GP.
2. Have national rankings on each horse. End up in the year end awards for All Breeds and at minimum be qualified for regionals.
3. Increase fitness (human and horse).
4. Expand clients, horses in training, and investments that are capable, at minimum of shining on the national stage, also continue to remain fiscally solvent.

I'm dreaming of White Fences

The weather has been nothing short of disastrous.

The area has been nicely coated in a crystal casing of ice, doused with snow, and thawed and refrozen several times to make for very interesting travel conditions.

The horses have also started to get cabin fever as friends start making their way down to Florida for the season I'm slowly going just as insane. 

Literally our area has become a desolate polar paradise with little chance to escape until the ice breaks up and the sun starts shining consistently.

Sinari is an old pro and is used to the winter blues routines. She's wintered many times in the north. But  still can get very fresh under saddle. But for her, it's manageable and cool to have that focused, amplified energy to work with. It's literally refreshing for me as well to just sit there and play director. But even then managing her day-to-day energy outlet of a pony coming back into fitness can be hairy at best. Keeping her from stiffening up is also become easier with Back On Track products (hock boots and a sheet). 

Danzador is still adjusting to things a little. While he's used to being confined for a few days, he's not used to the swinging temperatures in the area. The first ride during the big drop was hairy, he was electric and while it was great to have the energy his concentration wasn't focused. He also physically isn't mature enough to keep loose, so we stepped up the body work on him. The next few days he's come in and has went better, but for the most part things have been about stretching and keeping things low-key. He has a show this weekend, which while I want to go I'm not looking forward to. 

Also with the downtime for Danzador, we started adjusting some of the support systems he's getting. He already receives regular chiro and massage, but with all the development he's undergoing he needed more support with shoes. 

His feet are solid and he's done alright without them, but he gets a little tentative in his body when he can't get traction, combine that with a natural propensity to tighten the back it's stagnated some development. Already I can see and feel a difference. His balance is lower, he's more confident and his overstride has already gained at least a few inches. 

The weather has also screwed with my schedule.

My last full clinic has been canceled, and I'm busy applying for several more to keep busy for the new year. Show organizers haven't put out their prize lists, so I can't really start picking and choosing where I want all of us to go. It's literally the dead time which I dread and enjoy all at once. 

The last cancellation left me with an open date and around a horse show time. With both horses actually feeling good, I tossed both of them in at last minute thanks to a generous secretary making space. The weather is decided to add value to the horse show by going from 40 and sunny to 28 and freezing rain. 

Then there's a huge step down from FEI.

It feels odd to be doing training level again. Especially on a baby that's pretty fit (ps. it's never a good time to show babies, you just have to go) and a test that's a fraction as long as the one you're used to.  I'm used to seeing two pages of test, a movement-by-movement breakdown, and now I had 14 grouped movements to get a good score on a four year old that is still physically developing, in a cold arena. 

I'm exceptionally proud of him in what could have been easily a mental undoing of a lot of horses. He was high, and cold, but the minute the bridle went on he started to click in, he warmed up great in a busy arena with kids trying to run into him, he gave me great balance, and minus stopping and staring at things, he thought it was the most fun he had in a long time.

I'm not happy with the score, because it felt appropriate. But the comments were somewhat valid.

There are things that can be improved off the bat- like the drunken sailor line, general crookedness and tenseness that comes from lack of showing. Mentally he was half in the zone and half baby ADD.

He does need to lengthen his top line out. But, I also know that comes from building carrying power to lengthen the entire frame. His main avoidance has (and possibly always will be) been behind the vertical, it comes from me asking for the balance and power. I honestly don't really think he's going to be a world beating training level horse, he's going to start to shine around second level. But until then he's going to keep going out at little shows to get experience until his mediums/lengthenings and lateral work are confirmed, which hopefully will be spring.

Otherwise, I'm proud of both of them. 

She's buying the stairway to heaven

A few weeks ago I vaguely explained what's happening with the herd and how my life is changing.

Then William Fox-Pitt, convention,  and a number of other things took over my life and I had to put introspection aside and do what I do.

A few weeks ago, I left my regular paying, 9-5 corporate non-equine related job. I left the security of knowing that despite good pay, a 401k, stock options and other various, great things in the normal world, I was unhappy. I survived six years of a job that had a crazy mentality and demanded total unrelenting obedience.

I'm happy that I had that opportunity to be there, it's given me a huge amount of perspective that I wouldn't have gained otherwise. It gave me a background for business which has become invaluable. It's helped me expand my skills to deal with a lot of situations. It was a good resource and the team I worked with was one of the best in the world.

But in the end, this was a hobby to them and no amount of bargaining or discussing could change this. So, after the last management change, the talk of unionizing and facing down another winter, I finally said I couldn't do it anymore without mentally becoming undone.

In the meantime, I'm still continuing the clinics, which has been a good thing overall. But there's one final step I'm taking and that's going Professional.

"Going pro" has been on my radar for sometime. It's not something I necessarily wanted to do until I was totally confirmed at Grand Prix with at least appearances at major venues. I enjoy the sport but lately I've been pushing the defining boundaries of what it means to be an Amateur.

I still have a slightly romanticized version of the ideal professional who not only scores exceptionally well, but has a balance between teaching, riding, business and the normal life. They have that pipeline of horses that can sell somewhat easily in the market to buy up or take the capital and run, have committed lovely clients who want to progress in their various paths, a workmanlike barn and an overall love of the game.

While I have many of those attributes, I still struggle with the idea of playing in a broader field, and fear doing what you love may lead to burnout. There's also the fear of becoming apart of the crowd.

In short, aside from the USEF rule book, there is no how-to human resources cook book of guidelines that gives you a path of what to do next. For a lot of us, there are still, and always be questions of how to do this without killing yourself. But I know now that I can't wait around until Grand Prix and to be treated seriously you have to change.

The nice part is my herd has changed too.

In addition to Sinari, Danzador and Reba, there are going to be a few new faces.

Flemmiro SSM, by Flemmingh out of a Ferro mare will be joining the herd.  There are also a few planned breedings in the works to keep things growing in the right way.

So in 2014, with the renewal of my cards, the quality added to the herd, my Amateur status is officially done. I loved my time in this group. It's given me a huge amount of perspective of what people go through to achieve goals.

We like to party

I did a two for one day at USEA and USDF's conventions.

I made the trek up to Ohio to at least attempt to attend Area 8 awards (missed it due to an overrun meeting) for Reba and Anna, and then jetted back down Lexington to accept my Silver in person.

It's not my first convention I went to, but it was the first time I've accepted an award on the national scene. Reba was also one of the first horses I've had to go out and just dominate, and also the first horse I haven't piloted to those ribbons, but "owned". It was a good way to end a year I'd rather forget.

Despite arriving late, I was lucky that I had friends there to hold a seat and a plate of food. My table had collectively some of the best, most revered classical trainers seated (Charles DeKnuffy, JJ Tate and Mrs. O'Connor) at it. Many of which I met for the first time, and for once in my wee existence felt really awestruck at the living history eating cake and having coffee.

I didn't expect to like many of them, many trainers on the hard-core classical path tend to be eccentric at best. But if you ever have the chance to meet Charles, he's incredibly wonderful to listen to and get to know and Mrs. O' Connor is spot on with much of her commentary.

If the night had a theme, it was education.

It is something that I feel very near and dear to as I regularly host and work alongside people who's greater motivation is to improve riding and it's understanding. To see these people, who have dedicated their lives to furthering the next generation, and being recognized for it, is cool.

It's hard to believe that 40 years ago (I've been a member about a quarter of that time) we were still competing on grass with chain arenas and education and the programs, like the L, the All Breeds, Regionals, Instructor Certification, that in were started when I was 15 or 16 years old. We  have made progress.

It was fantastic to see and hear the stories being exchanged. It was good to see old friends, and touch base with those who I do business with. Plus it just started to stoke the competitive fires for 2014.

What will become of us

Winter has become equally as busy despite the adamant refusal to move everyone south (I will regret

this later) for the winter season. It's snowed on and off again for two days, leaving my woods covered in unfashionable post Labor Day White.

Starting in December with a double convention days (USDF/USEA Area 8), each week is booked out with something to do, whether it be clinic, show, symposium, meetings, hosting and travel.

Before I even start making rounds I still have the horses.

Danzador, even through some awkward stages, is getting the knack of things. As a four year old, he offers a lot of glimpses into a really bright future. He just gets the lateral movements and has a really lovely balance point. More importantly, he never stops trying. The adjustability is being developed, which I think will come when he figures out more collected work. He's not going to be FEI five and six year old material but will be a good candidate for the Developing Horse or the straight FEI tests. He still has a lot of maturing he needs to do over winter and with some changes in the program he'll be just fine.

Sinari is still going on, she's come back into work and is regaining a lot of the fitness she lost. The little mare is pretty much getting the idea of the zig zags, and reeled off three's today without really thinking. The main goal is to push for the I1 next year and be schooling all of the Grand Prix work. She's working solidly every day, I just wish the footing would cooperate so we can get out of the arena more often, hacking up and down the driveway isn't what I call fun.

Reba's first year and a half with my team and her rider has come to an end, and I couldn't be more proud of what they've done in less than a half a season of eventing and showing. With Anna Kate in less than 10 overall events, she finished with minimal penalties and usually on sub 30 dressage scores. She won Beginner Novice at American Eventing Championships, was Reserve Champion on the Area 8 Leaderboard and started showing Novice at the end of the season. On a horse that has had barely a season of jumping and has only really returned to work last August this is very quick progress.

I honestly can't wait to see what next year, the second/third year of this project holds for everyone, in the meantime we're celebrating with some holiday downtime. The horses were chiro-ed on Tuesday and have had yesterday and today off. We'll return on Friday with some light work to finish out the week. Plus there's a few changes coming up that I'll announce when they're confirmed.

You Gonna Fly

Tis the season for conventions 

I'm going to USDF's convention, which is conveniently less than a half of a mile from my house, to pick up my Silver Medal, and to USEA/Area 8 to meet up with friends, coworkers and watch Anna Kate pick up her ribbons for the season. All on the same day, within three hours of each other.  

Aside from one busy day, the time is also well spent on conducting business and setting the tone for 2014. It's one part social, two parts financial planning for my team and a whole lot of fun in between.

Convention is also the underlying reminder of what ribbons really cost. 

For every title, ribbon, trophy and award handed out, there are thousands of hours, dollars and opportunities spent for a brief, very fleeting, moment in time. 

While I'm thrilled to have earned my Silver, I'm reminded of the miles traveled with the pony, the struggles of a first year at FEI, the permanent hatred I have for fourth level, the clinics attended and hosted and the time away from home while I collect it and celebrate the newest lifetime achievement. 

Everything has a price, and horses, are no different. I'm very proud of what we have accomplished and no one can take that away. But occasionally, I hear the peanut gallery's voices singing clearly that it's not fair, and you've just have had better opportunities. 

I can easily say life isn't fair. 

But better opportunities? I made those with sweat equity.  

A recent post on Facebook reminded me how concerning the future generation of horsemen are going to be if they aren't clever enough or hungry enough to find ways to, as Tim Gunn would say, "Make it Work". 

We aren't all blessed with bank accounts and silver spoons. Many of us grew up in suburbs and with parents that could barely tell the difference between a snaffle and spur (but were lucky that they didn't say no to doing crazy things), but in the end, the dollars didn't prevent us, we just made it work. 

It's disappointing to say the least that many insert-your-age-here somethings would rather lament instead of going forward, asking questions and give a little to get a leg up, then complain at the suggestion that they go work and earn their place at the table. 

Go and volunteer, go ask organizers if they need a hand for anything (the answer is usually a relieved yes), start covering events for your local equestrian magazine, attend class, go to shows and watch, scribe, run, put on events, network, DO STUFF. Change begins with the individual, and to be have a say in it, you need to step outside and do something. 

There is nothing preventing you in this world to going out and going after opportunities. There will be times where people will say no, there will be times where you (and many others) question everything you do, the quality you have; there will be times where that plateau for training and riding stretches out longer than a country mile. But, if you don't keep going, you stop being apart of what you want. 

So, question is then, how bad do you want it? 

How quick are you gonna get up?

The season is officially put to rest.

I got back on Thursday evening after I drove home from William Fox-Pitt's clinic that finished the day prior. I can barely remember how Friday was spent, except that I ended up at the barn riding that day and I was happy to be back to some version of normalcy.

With 200 plus people on both days, and some fun situations in between, it was well worth it and I had a blast. But somewhere between the final airport run and getting turned around on Route 50 because of construction traffic, I hit the wall.

I pulled over at an overlook and just sat there for awhile, wondering what I had just done and what it will mean. Probably sat there for a solid 10 minutes just looking out before my phone pinged with people sending on media, Facebook, and emails of congrats (Virginia has sketch signal and I guess things catch up when you stand on top of a hill). I found myself wishing for my horses.

The ponies didn't make the trek with me and earned some time off from the under saddle work. Prior to leaving, they were working really well. But at the clinic I found myself really wanting to ride in what little down hours I had and experiment with what was going on.

The horses didn't mind the absence so much. 

Prior to taking off, Danzador was working a little passage in hand and doing more than a solid training level/first level work, we even schooled a green change here or there. The last day with him was spent trying to find his gear for the lengthening, the horse doesn't quite trust where all his feet go yet, and can only give a solid five steps, but at least it's progress.

The last few days have been spent stretching and just getting him back in gear but yesterday, for giggles, we put him through a trail horse clinic. After the initial snorts and spooks, he became almost bored with the process as he tried to eat the tarp, the flowers, the sparkly confetti things.

As much as I raise dressage horses, they are horses first. They need to be exposed to a bunch of things that make them good citizens. Often times, as riders, we forget that, we try to sterilize the environment to make it safe, when in reality we're only doing ourselves a disservice. I also believe that submission, one of the core tenets of the sport, is first developed on the ground.  What you do there also reflects what's being experienced in the saddle.

I think he's missed the work, and the attention because he's come back looking more mature with a better trot and walk, his canter can be a tad scrambled but he's willing to collect and hold himself together. His walk canters are coming along very smartly. He's ready to do a show very soon.

Sinari's post hock injection work keeps improving, she's way more comfortable in the work and has returned to the level that she was at prior. We're still taking stuff slow, she lost a little bit of fitness due to the compensation she put her body through, but already she's lighter and softer in the bridle, she's not stuck in the back and she's happy about the work.

She's comfortable handling the three's and two's again, and I've been working on cleaning up the pirouette work. It's coming, it's just going to take time. But already she's willing to sit and wait more, just needs the strength. But already things are looking up.