Hope is a four lettered word

2013 is over. I can't say I'm unhappy to see it go, it was a tough year for a lot of reasons, but it also

showed that we've come a long way.

The holiday time for me has always been about downtime, the horses aren't pushed, I can pretty much have a glass of wine and take time to say thanks and plan the new year.

There's a lot to be thankful for- I'm thankful for supportive owners and clients who've been very supportive and supplying the equine talent and funding to start achieving goals. I'm thankful for my team: Dr. Laurie Metcalf, Jake Burdine, Dr. Lark Carol, Dr. Kimberly Tummlin, Doug Leavitt and a host of others who keep us all running on track.

I'm incredibly thankful to my owners who have stepped up to the status change to keep me mounted on quality up and coming horses: Noble Spirit Farm, Sunshine Meadows, Rosanna and Carey Gage; Wendy and Kelly Spencer and a few more who are coming up . Without them I think honestly I would still be bopping around not really doing much. They make me better, not just as a person, but as a horseman.

A big thank you goes to Alfredo, JJ and a number of others, who got me out of a slump. I really look forward to continuing the relationship and growing the team with some really passionate individuals who are in my corner and want to be apart of everything.

My goals on paper for 2013 weren't overly ambitious, but they involved hard work. I took the year to be a building year, I did a grand total of two shows this year, both I wish I would have forgotten, but for the most part they were apart of the learning curve that is being an under-30 rider.

2013:
1. Finish Silver, start the Gold.
I completed my Silver, in 2012 I had a mis-scored test that I didn't catch until after I left the show grounds. There wasn't a way to correct it so, I had to wait until 2013 to finish out my one fourth level test (seriously fourth level) and get my medal in January. I didn't start my Gold at all, I took a year off with Sinari to let her down after three hard years of campaigning and training. We went out all of twice (January and September) with so-so results. I look forward to getting back on the campaign trail again.

We will go out with some more frequency in 2014- but will be picky about shows for her. We are on our last two years of showing, and at 15, it's hard find an excuse to keep her campaigning continuously without being unfair. The focus also shifted to the younger horses, developing them to find the next heir apparent. Which is hard, because a horse that steps into those shoes is going to have a lot of expectations.

2. Be training I2/GP
We can roll through about 65-70 percent of the sequences of the GP at this point. It's no where near show ready. Still need to put on one's, a firmer p&p sequence, and clean up a bunch of other things.

3. Find investment horses.
Did this and a little more. Initially, Reba's Song was an investment back up horse. However, she showed her preference to jump and with Anna Kate did exceptionally well for her first year showing (I think winning a major national title is cause for celebration). The Spencers purchased Danzador MSM and put me onboard as rider/partner. Flemmiro SSM is also her breeder's investment for the long haul as well. There are also a few more coming in as client sales horses and potentially a few big horses as well.

4. Devote two weeks of intense training per quarter
With the notable absence of an integral team member by May, I had to scramble hard to find a solid pair of eyes on the ground that took us at least somewhat seriously. We were left floating really until July, until things changed and I found people who not only clicked with me but really made a huge change in what I do. I've now added one more set of eyes and started utilizing technology to keep up with things.

5. Continue to grow the business and remain fiscally solvent.
The business grew and had some ups and downs. There was a lot of change in dynamics and how things developed. I'm now the tour manager for Christoph, I'm developing clinic locations and the clientele has expanded. I got to work with William Fox Pitt and I look forward to expanding my network with eventers and getting to know them a bit better.

2014:
1. Start Gold. Be schooling the majority of GP.
2. Have national rankings on each horse. End up in the year end awards for All Breeds and at minimum be qualified for regionals.
3. Increase fitness (human and horse).
4. Expand clients, horses in training, and investments that are capable, at minimum of shining on the national stage, also continue to remain fiscally solvent.

She's buying the stairway to heaven

A few weeks ago I vaguely explained what's happening with the herd and how my life is changing.

Then William Fox-Pitt, convention,  and a number of other things took over my life and I had to put introspection aside and do what I do.

A few weeks ago, I left my regular paying, 9-5 corporate non-equine related job. I left the security of knowing that despite good pay, a 401k, stock options and other various, great things in the normal world, I was unhappy. I survived six years of a job that had a crazy mentality and demanded total unrelenting obedience.

I'm happy that I had that opportunity to be there, it's given me a huge amount of perspective that I wouldn't have gained otherwise. It gave me a background for business which has become invaluable. It's helped me expand my skills to deal with a lot of situations. It was a good resource and the team I worked with was one of the best in the world.

But in the end, this was a hobby to them and no amount of bargaining or discussing could change this. So, after the last management change, the talk of unionizing and facing down another winter, I finally said I couldn't do it anymore without mentally becoming undone.

In the meantime, I'm still continuing the clinics, which has been a good thing overall. But there's one final step I'm taking and that's going Professional.

"Going pro" has been on my radar for sometime. It's not something I necessarily wanted to do until I was totally confirmed at Grand Prix with at least appearances at major venues. I enjoy the sport but lately I've been pushing the defining boundaries of what it means to be an Amateur.

I still have a slightly romanticized version of the ideal professional who not only scores exceptionally well, but has a balance between teaching, riding, business and the normal life. They have that pipeline of horses that can sell somewhat easily in the market to buy up or take the capital and run, have committed lovely clients who want to progress in their various paths, a workmanlike barn and an overall love of the game.

While I have many of those attributes, I still struggle with the idea of playing in a broader field, and fear doing what you love may lead to burnout. There's also the fear of becoming apart of the crowd.

In short, aside from the USEF rule book, there is no how-to human resources cook book of guidelines that gives you a path of what to do next. For a lot of us, there are still, and always be questions of how to do this without killing yourself. But I know now that I can't wait around until Grand Prix and to be treated seriously you have to change.

The nice part is my herd has changed too.

In addition to Sinari, Danzador and Reba, there are going to be a few new faces.

Flemmiro SSM, by Flemmingh out of a Ferro mare will be joining the herd.  There are also a few planned breedings in the works to keep things growing in the right way.

So in 2014, with the renewal of my cards, the quality added to the herd, my Amateur status is officially done. I loved my time in this group. It's given me a huge amount of perspective of what people go through to achieve goals.