Everywhere I Go

First, thank you all for the well-wishes and support. After the last post, the phone, Facebook and my email filled up really quick with support and good tidings for the upcoming trip. A few close readers even sent some wool knit products as a surprise, which is beyond generous.

All of this was actually rather unexpected.

I've always kind of done my own thing. Notoriously, sometimes stubbornly and stupidly have gone my own way. I don't expect support because I was raised taught you do what you feel is right, and often times, it means going against what is popular or what other people feel you should do. The support comes at a time when I'm transitioning from the image of being the amateur / organizer to a professional rider. That one image has dominated the conversation all year, and breaking with it while still keeping parts of that identity, such as the organizer part, is tough. So when people actually flag wave and support, it's a very pleasant surprise.

Right now, there's a lot of holiday bustle at the barn and trying to finish up the last part of the year. Haiku is working three days a week, and going swimmingly. She's doing very well for herself and maturing quickly into lovely dressage horse. She is talented, and is very reflective of her pedigree gait-wise. When she gets more strength and maturity she's going to be much like Gal's Undercover, not uber flashy, but very much a power horse.

Sinari has been back out walking and keeping company with Haiku when she hacks out. Recovery is slow, as are all things when it comes with being older and tendons. At this point we put the idea of lease on hold until she's fitter. She's the same as ever, chipper, but five laps around the arena and she's pretty winded. I can only guess what her resolution is going to be in the New Year.

Flair's drop date has been set, she will be here shortly after the new year. I wish we could have shipped sooner as I would have liked to had more time with her before leaving, but there will be plenty of time after I get back to continue the relationship.

The big news is that Danzador has been sold, but will remain close to home (actually, same stall, same facility) as the other half of the ownership has obtained my share and now owns him outright. He truly is a lovely amateur's horse and should be happy being spoiled.

Cleaning has also being going full throttle for my departure.

I dumped my tack trunk out and sorted through all the odds and ends. Gone are the old, outdated, half full bottles of God-know's-what, evicted is the last of the summer laundry, gathered items in for repair (those five muzzles will be reinforced...), halters that were too destroyed were tossed, those that looked salvageable went in, took home the quarter sheets, the fleece and knits for washing, monogramming to go with the girls. Even the feed bins were wiped, labeled and sterilized.

In are the fresh supplies for the girls for the three or four months I'll be away.

Shampoos, soaps, liniments, a 90 plus day supply of feed and supplements, fresh supplies of medications, clean pads, rags, standing wraps and fresh sponges that aren't harboring strange new life; topped off spray bottles,  and put back clean brushes. Everything has been Sharpie'd, taped off, tagged or monogrammed so none of it would be lost or "confused" with other items.

There's still a few more things to purchase. Like bungee cords, a wash garment bag, a new trash bin for a separate type of feed, a few locks, and maybe if they're on sale- box fans.

Things that aren't going with the mares, or won't be used, will go home.

Thankfully, the human side looks easier to pack, as all the laundry from the prior trip was stuffed into the laundry basket as soon as I got home. But even then there are bits and bobs everywhere. Taking a chapter from my running friends, I went to the Under Armor outlet to get some base layers. Also, thankfully SmartPak was having a sale and I found a pair of nice schooling gloves and liners so I don't experience bleeding fingers again (or being cold).

My leave date has been also appointed as well, I'm officially out January 12th, with the Haiku leaving on the 31st. Sinari will be staying field boarded through winter.

Which makes planning a show season a little tricky and with the focus on the USDF BC's it means hauling, and with one, maybe two qualifiers around Kentucky and Ohio, it means also making sure the truck and trailer are in running order when I come back.

I also sat down with my students and began developing their plans for the 2015 calendar. One part of me wants to stay and push their development more over winter, the other part of me goes, I can't develop them unless I come back more developed. It's a tricky Catch 22.

Your stairway lies on the whispering wind

It's been close to impossible writing this post and so it's been kind of quiet here.

I've tried so many drafts each kind of close but not really right. How do you break news that will very much alter your world and your perception of it?

After two successful back to back clinics with Mary King, I hopped one more flight. This time to the Netherlands. It's been awhile since I've been, and last time I travelled there, I was much younger and there for different reasons. 

The trip actually started in August when I saw everyone's plans for Florida. 

I love Florida.

Who wouldn't? It's warm, it has all the major competitions within a four month span, plus prize money. You're neighbors with top riders, who you can extend your education with easily. The selling market is pretty good, in addition to all the fun social stuff that goes with the temporary office space and socially starved riders.

I, like many other riders worship at Our Lady of Palm Beach come January. The last winter being the bad exception to that streak. This year, I was unsure of where I was going to end up. My rides are very young, 2, 5, 4 and 15. Sinari doesn't need to go down to the fishbowl, neither do the kids. I was left facing some choices including an eternal winter to face and not a whole lot of riding or teaching if winter turned south. 

I thought a working student position would be a good idea. But being over qualified and 30 against 20 something's has its own set of issues. Time was running short, everyone was confirming their plans and I felt very much stuck. 

During a few conversations my mentors and friends suggested I expand my search, knowing that if I went after anything less than something that would have a good ROI in terms of network, learning or career advancement I would be terribly angry with myself. 

That search lead to Holland. 

I went over not expecting much, if anything I was expecting the comments to be along the lines of nice, but American. 

So, I rode, worked, drank coffee, rode, worked some more, showed up and kept my head down. 

By Tuesday I found my routine, and I stuck to it. By my last day, I found myself at home with the head riders helping me through some sticky areas.  I barely know anything in another language, and while lonely, horse in any language creates a common bond. In a short week I received an eye opening education and came away with more things I wanted to do than have time for. 

Before I left an offer came through for a barn in Germany and, like in 2002 when I received my first acceptance letters to University, I felt like I took one huge step to put myself forward into my career. 

So, in short, I will be riding and campaigning in Europe for the winter months. 

Spark of Madness

I grew up incredibly awkward as a child.

Attending public school, I was the odd kid out who did the weird sport and often spent lunches in the library so I can avoid the cafeteria, which was pure terror (they still scare me, never know where to sit). I never attended a party. I went to bed at 10.

My social life was devoted to two things: school and horses. School was alright. I did my work, got reasonable grades, and for the most part, had really wonderful teachers. My second school, the barn, was also pretty cool. I also grew up in an old school professional's barn, where children are seen and not heard- it was tough, but gave me a lot of the essential tools that I still use today.

I was a barn rat ala working student. I spent every possible moment I could there. I read everything about horses, I rode everything I could get my hands on. I researched, participated, volunteered, and I dreamed that someday I would dominate the large European eventing tracks (Badminton was my favorite). I was very cocksure around a horse, around people, not so much.

It took me a long time, and an entire business to learn to reach out to people, even at the fear of rejection. While I don't harbor a single desire for clearing solid obstacles, I still have an overseas ambition. My people skills are vastly improved, and I'm not a wallflower.

When I turned professional, I faced a huge amount of challenges. I felt I wasn't enough.

I wasn't ready enough to impart what I had learned, so I shunned teaching for a long time.  I felt  I wasn't good enough for investment horses or training horses, so I stuck to my basics- quietly buying, breeding and selling for myself. Thinking that I made it to the holy grail of Grand Prix I would finally get fulfillment.

15 years after I graduated high school, I was back at the cafeteria wondering where to sit and debating if there was a quiet corner in the stacks to eat a sandwich while I read a book. Who would want to take a lesson with me, or why would anyone plunk even a dollar down for a nice horse for essentially a no-name can ride? Or who would train me consistently?

I essentially lost my way.

I was begging for a corporate job by mid-year. I wanted to run back to the safety of the doldrum office, comforted by business casual dress and clinging to my stacks of emails, settling for a consistent paycheck, happy weekends off and late nights schooling my herd.  Knowing it would be the death of whatever happiness I built up leaving corporate America to begin with, but still, it was a safety blanket.

I lacked confidence in what I was doing.

Combined with a rough show season, situations happening, being around drama llamas- people who breathed for conflict, and having a blasé routine (wake up, work out, ride) it pushed my perception of my world around.

Then things started to change. I picked up some extra work for another trainer, I have a regular local clinic I teach, the other side of the business of sales, improved, picking up Haiku G and having a drop date for Flair was a relief. Sinari continues to mend, Danzador continues to improve.

So, as I end my first year of living off the corporate grid, and being a professional I find myself again moving and breaking out.

I'm incredibly thankful for my students and clients, but again I find the same fear of settling has started creeping in as winter approaches.

I have one more trip on the docket for this year that will hopefully prove game changing. I feel though that my luck and my time is stretching a tad thin at this point with back to back successful clinics and good investors this year. But nothing ventured, nothing gained.

Hot, flat and crowded

I rarely talk about the day-to-day realities of being a pro. One side of it is that it's busy, so the ability to write and write well about any subject but carving out 20 meters in my sand box tends to get lost around 8pm. The second reason is that like the Great and Powerful Oz, there are certain things that should be left behind the curtain at the end of the day.

Being a professional in any industry is tough. But when you're industry is more luxury versus necessity, the playing field for capital resources tends to be very tight and ultra-competitive.

Capital resources in the equestrian community can run physical, such as barns, arenas, horses; to the human element, specifically speaking, ownership.

I have zero qualms with putting out there that the majority of my horses, minus Sinari, are either owned or co-owned. My ownership is diverse ranging from breeders to PhDs to Executives of major corporations. There's not a day that goes by that I feel that I'm not appreciative of the business they've allowed me to have.

My business is run more as open community. While some people (namely the attorneys) view this as a socialist experiment with hippie-dippy flower power, I realized a long time ago that I cannot be everything to everyone. Nor can I got out and make every horse an FEI horse (nor do I want to). In short, no person is an island.

A prime point for this are the babies.

I stopped backing horses years ago. I really feel that I'm not in a position anymore to a) take that risk or b) be fair to a horse that's just starting out. I hand the reins over to a rider who does nothing but babies. It's a great relationship. He rides quality horses and moves his career further in the direction he wants, and I get a sane baby  with a job description at the end of it.

Same goes with horses that I don't get along with or who are really out of my depth. Over this year, I've given up two rides to other riders who the horse simply went better for them. There's no guilt or shame over it.

So, for a lack of better term, I outsource.

Outsourcing, which is usually a negative thing, is a great resource for professional riders building their community and network. Got a horse that doesn't go well for you? Find a rider that will make them shine so they can be sold on to another home. Need help finding a barn for that big clinic because your barn can't handle the capacity? Network so both facilities can benefit. Student having trouble? So and so has this neat-o exercise to give a go. Or my favorite- co-oping through outside disciplines to source good horses (e.g. one man's trash is another man's GP horse).

But this kind of relationship is a two way street. Yes, it does take an understanding. Also, unfortunately on some occasions made people overstep bounds and pilfer or use the reference as an excuse to behave in a less than stellar fashion.

I had this happen three times recently. Once, with a young rider, once with a client and one professional in the community that indefinitely overstepped their boundaries. Each time I was lucky, either the damage was minimal or the ownership and contract was in place to secure my spot; and the rides were unavailable.

Pilfering is nothing new in the community. It happens, a lot. It's why riders vanguard their owners heavily throughout their careers with them. Owners are huge investments for riders and finding good ones, are like finding rare gems and developing a long term relationship is a very big deal.

 Which in many ways is sad as well because owners, like the Mrs. Mars, the Akiko's, the Thomas' should be shared and developed within a community of riders to help them achieve goals. Because even though we are a global sport with a long reach, the truth is, our overall resources are shrinking and the competitive landscape has become much more hot, flat and crowded within the last decade or so.

So while those peoples' ambitions and actions were incredibly short sighted it reminds me that while the community is changing with an overall perspective more in mind, it's not very long before the overall community's perception is changing for the better.

I never watch the stars, there’s so much down here

The last few weeks have been a blur.

Since Haiku has arrived, things have been in overtime. I'm out at the barn now at least twice a day with her and working with the others, in addition to planning the final clinics of the season and alongside trying to sort winter plans.

Writing itself has been troublesome, every time I start a post, I get distracted, my poor feed is littered with half-completed thoughts.

The weather hasn't been cooperating either. The region has been slammed with storms, most notably over the last week were we experienced what felt like two feet of water. Region 2 Championships were utter slop, and I ended up scratching anyways due to the usual pre-show culprit of cellulitis.

I don't think I missed much, except the effects on my wallet. The quality of the horses were really nice, and the show was huge with about 1,700 rides over the four days. It still makes me highly eager to get out and do something in 2015 and kinda disappointed it probably won't come back until 2016, which makes me ship out to either Missouri, Michigan or Virginia.

I was still out there coaching, and my students had decent results under a solid panel of judges. Many of whom got valuable lessons in riding and perspective.  In all cases, I was proud of them under the given sloppy circumstances and how they cared for their horses afterward.

The idea that the year has passed by this quickly is scary. While it doesn't feel like I went out there and beat the band for results, I still feel I accomplished something. Things are progressing, the quality is growing and the clients and roster of students are developing. At least one of my students will be cantering down the centerline of their first PSG next year.

Sinari continues to recover, we're up to four days of trotting, cantering and tack walking. She seems very happy to back at the center of things and with the reduced expectation of going back to FEI. She however, is fat as ever, in her full winter coat. I have no intentions of changing this aspect.

Danzador is spending his first part of winter being bored, we're waiting for the cut that caused the cellulitis to heal up to return to work. The last thing I would want is to irritate the leg from arena sand.

Haiku is about perfect for a two year old. My investors got really lucky with what we ended up. The mare is a workaholic. While still a little unsure of herself, I've never met a two year old that picks up on things as quickly as she does. If everything goes right for November, the plan is to do 15 days of backing and then leave her for winter and readdress in the spring.

Flair is also set to make her way down to Kentucky within the next two months, and I can't wait to see her, as out of shape as she is.

Otherwise, we're set to sit in for a long winter and hopefully an interesting end of the year.

This is how we do

A few weeks ago, I took a road trip up to the middle of nowhere on a lead on a horse who bloodlines

were really nice. I seen the ad floating around for a little while. The video wasn't a selling point, it was utter blurry crap, and the photos really didn't do her any favors.

This chance trip was right before I was supposed to step foot on a plane to Europe to go look at horses for the same clients (my trip is on, just pushed back), so really, I didn't expect much considering the quality that the poor beast was being stacked up against. But I went anyways, needing to get out of town for the day and away from my day-to-day stuff.

The trip which I thought would just be a jaunt in and out, turned out to be more than your typical three hour tour. It was a 10 hour round trip which included a few torrential storms and ending up in a soybean field next to some cows at one point.

In a way, it reminded me a lot of the trip I took to initially look at Sinari about 12 years ago, eerily enough, same week as well.

She was a leggy, modern, statuesque filly. Highly aware of everything and everyone. Adventurous, unafraid, and already fairly bored with people around her, but always affectionate.

Flash forward through the oddest try out, scrambling to find a vet to travel out to the middle of nowhere, a shipper and several laundry lists of things to do in the meantime- she's mine.

Haiku G., by the epic, proven combination Jazz out of an Olympic Ferro mare, is now apart of Team EnGaged Dressage. She is a diva in the making, and everything the breeding represents.

It has been a long and strange journey, but honestly, it's only just started. I'm sorry I don't have pictures to reflect her (cell phones just don't cut it these days), but they'll come with time.

Speaking of mare power, Sinari is back in action. We're clear to start legging up three days a week, at 10 minute increments. I started back yesterday and it was already so much fun to be sitting behind those little foxy ears. She's lost a lot of her original fitness, looking more like a fuzzy beach ball than a dressage pony. True to form, she was her old self. A little hot to start, but settled in to the work of walking laps like the old pro that she is.  I think she's just happy to get her spice drops.

Danzador continues to progress forward, as much as I want to crack him into second level, I want the mediums to be much stronger and sitting before I go there. So far, they're good, but he can't sustain the power for a full 60 meters, so we'll keep this at schooling show level until he gets the strength. His canter work is fabulous as always, confirmed all the third level work off of him minus changes. Half passes are playful, and he's doing large walk pir's once a week.   I desperately wanted him to have his changes more confirmed this year- however, like every five year old out there, he just needs maturity and strength before he seriously starts tackling them. He has a show in two weeks, just training and first level, so no big deal for a horse that is confirmed out the majority of the work way above him.

Running down to the riptide

The past few weeks have been incredibly active, with horses going all over the place, shows, the start of keuring season, training, teaching, travel and work in general.

Danzador has been on a relatively easy schedule, focusing on going forward and doing lateral work. My initial plan was to do MSEDA, but the USPS mail ate my entry... again. I love the MSEDA show, not for the open part, but for National Dressage Pony Cup. Jenny Carol has done a stellar job over the years putting on this show, and now expanding it to all sorts of regions as partner shows.

It's not the first time that documents have wandered. It ate several important documents to Europe and Canada, plus a number of entries over the past year. So we're re-routed to October. Not ideal, but it'll do.

Sinari is due for her 60 day re-check sometime this week or the next, which means we'll know how to proceed from there. She's fat, very fat, dapply, and happy. It's already been decided that she'll step down from the regular FEI levels and be a horse for one of my juniors who wants to start in equitation and then break into the pony division.

If you personally asked me how it felt, I would say it sucks. Loosing a good horse is never fun. We've had a decade of training together. I'm more intimate with Sinari than any other horse in the barn, and for the last decade plus we've been each others partner in the arena. Which makes the break a little harder. But, it's not personal, it's about what's fair and best for her. It would be selfish otherwise to not put my girl first.

As much as I want to continue on in that route to Grand Prix with her, how I want her to finish her career is out on top in a fair way. Being an FEI horse is tough. You have to have a sound mind and a sound body that can handle the training and conditioning almost daily.

Coming back from injury as a 15 year old is tough enough. I also know how lucky I am it wasn't something career ending or worse, life ending. But building back into the FEI is even harder, with a greater chance of career ending injury of just doing it. I couldn't live with myself if I repeated the past.  So, it's just time.

My students still continue to improve, I'm thoroughly tickled with this year's results already- the eventing group is scoring into the 30's, my regular dressage students are scoring upper 60's consistently.

Many of the eventing group have already expressed their want to do pure dressage and pursue their USDF medals alongside aiming for AEC's in it's final year in Texas. Which really makes me happy at the idea of helping people medal themselves.

This weekend is more coaching at shows, also getting to watch other people go is equally as fun.

Horse shopping has also been a never ending chore. My European trip got pushed back a few weeks, so it leaves me with some idle time to go look more locally. I'm went up to Ohio to look at some KWPN's and will possibly go down to the Carolina's to look at a few Hanovarians. I don't expect much but at the same time, I would enjoy supporting American breeders who are making an effort to bring the best lines home.